Saturday, December 4, 2010

Reflections

I am Grateful for...the gift of Susan's cancer diagnosis

Not a gift I want to give or one I anticipated receiving on that August day only 4 months ago,  in some ways it seems it has been such a long journey yet 4 months is such a short time to have traveled over so much ground. So many Doctor appointments, so much information to absorb, so many decisions to be made, apprehension,  fear, sadness, mourning over what has to be lost what has to change ( I saw on a church sign yesterday "Change is inevitable, growth is optional") and then the Peace which truly does pass all understanding. I shared the Bible verses because they were so helpful for me. A dear yoga friend said "I love the verses isn't it wonderful we have God's word to stand on"  as I searched for a verse that would fit a particular post it was like one would appear and be just right, just what I needed to hear...But truth be told the one echoing in my heart was "Lord I Believe; help my unbelief!"__Mark 9:24  We can't control what life throws at us and even if we could I'm not so sure I would want to, so many things that appear to be darkness at first turn out to be bathed in the Light. But what we can control is our response to these unexpected situations. These are the times that we find the reserves of Strength, Faith, Joy,  Peace and LOVE that were there all along. We discover more of who we really are, who walks beside us always and what we are capable of. I can speak ONLY from my point of view, which is a mere reflection of what it must be like to be the one with cancer, it's like I was allowed into this club, privy to all its benefits, such as... reconnecting with old friends( from High School & College Days not age wise of course), feasting on the delicious meals that were delivered daily, meeting new inspiring people, learning about nutrition and healthy lifestyle habits, strengthening my faith...just to name a few. I had access to all the clubs privileges yet didn't have to go through any sort of initiation or pay any dues, I told Susan on one of our last doctor visits together (she is now driving herself as of yesterday, I promise to update her progress soon) I felt like a 3rd wheel on a date always showing up uninvited. Anyway...
I kept waiting to post, waiting for the profound words that would be just right to convey the gratitude that I feel. I thought, I'll write on Thanksgiving Day, or this or that - lots of procrastination tactics -but nothing ever felt  right so here goes...Let me just say as sincerely as can come across through cyberspace THANK YOU! We're here to help each other, whether or not we learn from each other is an individual choice. I have so much to be grateful for and have been reminded of so many of those experiences and things small and large that often go overlooked. So for this gift, the gift of reflection, the gift of learning from this side of the mirror, the gift of unexpected opportunity for growth I am truly grateful. As the rush of the Christmas season washes over us, I hope that I can maintain this perspective and  my wish for you is health, happiness and gratitude.
With Big Love,
Nan


2 comments:

  1. All I can say is "WOW" What outpourings from the heart. I feel so privileged to be counted as a friend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sweet Sue, Thank you for the Lovely comment! I too value our friendship more than you can know. I am so glad we are on this path together, see you at the immersion.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for sharing!