Friday, May 18, 2012

On being the "Farmers Wife"

Sandy & Little Annie May 17th 2012

I am grateful for...The Farmer

Anticipation at the birth of new baby goats soon to arrive on the Farm. Excitement and celebration - then disappointment that one sweet kid didn't survive. Sandy, the mother of two and one of the first goats  to join us on the farm seemed so tired - the surviving baby goat- healthy walking around so very adorable. We kept a close watch on Sandy all day, she seemed overly lethargic - the vet said probably just a hard labor. Then about 7:00 pm she took a turn for the worst. We quickly called the vet who was an hour from us and our wonderful neighbors, Leslie, Brittany and her husband Cody, who came right away. Sandy was in such distress, I wrapped my arms around myself in an embrace as if to hold back my fears. She was dying, I knew it, and I couldn't bear to watch. I didn't have the courage of my husband, "the farmer". She was struggling with every breath, as if she knew she should stay and care for her baby; but, she wanted to go and be free of her body...
I went into the house watching the clock wishing the vet would arrive and "fix her", I blamed myself for not calling the vet sooner. But there was nothing that could have been is the way of things on the farm.

Just like any other good mother Sandy continued to give to her baby even in death. Our neighbor Brittany, a wonderful animal loving friend helped the farmer milk Sandy after she had passed, so that the life giving nutrient rich mothers milk could be fed to her baby - we named her Annie, little orphaned Annie.
I returned to the Barn to find the farmer, the vet and my neighbors standing with ready words of comfort for me, the farmers wife...I talk in my yoga classes of being strong on the outside soft on the inside, yet I found at that moment I was neither - the farmer was both...Strong, courageous he stroked Sandy as she laid her head on his lap and breathed her last, he carried her off to be buried this morning and softly, gently caressed little Annie as he tended to my emotions explaining that Sandy was calm and unafraid at the end...
Leslie, Cody and Brittany, experienced in the ways of baby goats, took little Annie home with them to teach her to nurse from a bottle. I am so grateful for the farmer, my neighbors, the vet (community & love).
As I went to sleep I wondered why we love deeply when it hurts so badly to loose and then when I awoke this morning to the sound of wind chimes, chirping birds, an occasional rooster crowing, the earthy smell of a freshly plowed field and the beauty that surrounds me daily...
I am Grateful...
I thought of all the miraculous births we have been blessed with on the farm since moving here in May of 2006- and I am reminded that although I wouldn't have the sadness of Sandy's loss in the cul de saq I also wouldn't have the joy of Annie's birth either...
I am grateful...


  1. Such a heart wrenching story - but it shows that we do have blessings in disguise!

  2. sometimes the circle of life seems so brutal, but it's always a reminder that life and death are balancing forces. bless you and 'the farmer' for being such excellent stewards of your bit of the planet and providing a loving home for your creatures. <3

  3. You are always grateful....thanks for sharing


Thanks for sharing!